Inaugural posting: Legends Christmas bash 09

We've all been there, we've all done it...thats waking up one morning next to someone we wish we hadn't and having that age old blokes decision to make, whether to risk waking him/her or to chew your arm off and leave unnoticed. I had such a similar experience on Sunday morning, waking up next to a pair of feet I didn't recognise. At first glance the person I was snuggled up to could have been Merve Hughes, a Mexican, or Ben Holman in 118 garb. I'm still not sure.
This is what I saw.
What would you have done?




So how did it happen? Who really was it....and why couldn't it have been that manly Geoff or that suave BA pilot Nick Zagni?


In fact after a night of dancing to YMCA with someone dressed as a sheriff, a fireman, a host of 118 118 guys and being served beer by Bess the transvestite, I probably haven't had my sexuality tested this much since third form at boarding school so I am obviously indebted to the Legends of the Thirds for inviting me on their annual Christmas curry. Yes, 'tis true, once the bugel sounded heralding the Legends Christmas curry, they came from far and wide across the land, even Arik making his way all the way up from Portsmouth, what a (student) Legend he is, to sleep on Geoffs couch before thumbing a lift back down again.















Barmaid Bess lines up the Camparis















118 Geoff checks the talent















The cowboy takes another 'prisoner'















The third team orgy, yes I know I'm a big boy, I can take you all















'Brothers in arms', the Legends wine & dine each other





















'I'm too sexy for my shirt...'
















Group hug, it was cold in there





















Geoff spies something...
















Theres that bloke again...and a lovely lass















The Legends winner for the best fancy dress, well done Nick. Dance moves: last place
















The great man himself, the one who makes it all happen, cheers Ben.
Ps James is a top guy also and worthy of taking my left wing spot...thanks for offering beer and shelter (and bringing me and Ben closer).

Thanks for a great night chaps... happy Christmas!

Oh...yes I also got a hat trick, again, in case you didn't know. 15 so far this season, but no ones counting right?

The end of season bash 2009!

What a night! What began with some relaxed drinking at THC HQ watching Arsenal get robbed in the FA Cup semi final was to end in bitter acrimony, events that brought the violence and anger of the G20 riots right into the heart of Tring (more of that later)!
It was a relaxing start to the night, pleasantries and drinking as mentioned, before what was a fairly decent curry even by Dubraj standards (I wasn't drinking and was tasting my food this time and it seemed ok) and even Chris wasnt sick afterwards.


Awards were distributed as follows...


Young Legend of the Year: Chris Aitkens
















Legend of the Year: Arik Freeman (see 'Arik' post below)

Dan Thompson Award:
Dan Thompson (for scoring the highest number of goals against the two promoted teams in the league in case anyone missed it)
















Sat Nav Award: Bess (who was alas not available to claim his prize)

Moaning Award: Gary (also not present, shame on him!)

Old Gits Award: Geoff, Gary and Bess. Received on the night by Geoff who seemed surprised he won (?!)

Anyway back to the evening...after the Dubraj had finally been settled and paid for after a sampling of Cobra and the arrival of the Great Lobinho, off we went to the Akeman...forgetting Chris wasnt old enough to get in...anyway we avoided the Bell which we all have to be grateful for as getting out (alive) is more of a concern.

So the Kings Arms had the final opportunity to welcome the Legends on their night out...and 'ding, ding', in the red corner, Ben 'tree hugger' Holman V Arik 'fascist' Freeman in the blue corner, the skipper of the Legends versus the current Legend of the Year and top goal scorer, a mouth watering prospect indeed. Indeed if blows were to be exchanged, if this years shooting prowess is anything to go by, its unlikely either party would come to harm, but it was a fine way to finish the night and puts to rest the shame of the previous outing which finished with a humbling game of cribbage. Come on the Legends! Anyway before I sign off, on behalf of all the team (and meant sincerely) well done Ben for organising another top evening and for your endeavours throughout the year in making it all happen. We love you really and Arik didnt mean those things, he just needs education which he is off to get shortly!

Ben, powered by lentil curry squares up for combat.

Ready for violence, Afrikaans style. Hotshot Freeman has Ben in his sights, just.

Heres to the 2010 season and hopefully finishing 5th from bottom.

PS last but not least, Fergie, I think you deserved a prize for something. In any event, you are already ahead on points for one of the awards for next year I hear!

Arik...a legend in the making

Arik 'hoody' Freeman... what a legend! He leaves us this season for pastures new, to tropical Scotland and the beautiful city of Glasgow. Its possible the picture may be misleading and he isn't off to work for McDonalds but in fact going to uni.

He will be remembered for many things, not just cigarette smog clouds over Tring, stomach pumps and despite being one of the youngest in the team, only being able to run for 5 minutes before collapsing. He is also the 2009 Legend of the Year and top goal scorer. According to Ben he is also a police loving fascist. Arik, you are irreplaceable (although we hope to 'sign' the John Smiths cardboard cut-out soon who should make a few more runs than you did).

4 April V Windsor...a 9-1 win?

Youngsters Sam Payne and Paul Porter both notched hat-tricks as Tring Hockey Club's thirds whalloped Windsor.
The thirds were able to blood a trio of youngsters with Ashley Tillett joining the three-goal heroes. Man of the match Dave Ferguson, skipper Ben Holman and Dave Bonner also got their name in the scoresheet to make it 9-1 at the end.

Man of the match (but no recognition of course at the end of season awards..erm) for Fergie.

Yes its true! Back page of the gazzette in our honour (sort of)
Click for link

28 March V Leighton Buzzard, a win!

Tring took on old rivals Leighton Buzzard in a must win game. Must win only because everyone else has beaten them and LB have languished in the bottom 2 all season. In the previous game we came out with a fabulous 1-1 draw after utterly failing to convert more than 1 of our 30 chances and they scored with their only shot on target.
With Chris Aikens giving his usual morale boosting views on the game "we're probably going to mess this up aren't we" Tring started casually and went downhill from there. Luckily the opposition were very willing but not overly able, getting themselves into good positions but unable to take advantage of them. Clearly they had been watching the Tring 3s self-help videos. With about 10 minutes to go in the first half Tring had a break away, Arik did what he does best - falling over and at the same time lifting the ball over the oncoming keeper - which is a neat trick if you can manage it. Leighton Buzzard hit the post twice in the closing minutes of the half but Tring led 1-0 at the break.
The second half was as scrappy as the first, but Tring generally held the upper hand, Arik grabbing his second goal and finally put any fears of conceding a late equaliser to rest.
And so we say farewell to Arik Freeman - off to University in the autumn and unable to play in the last game of the season, he has played for the 3s for the last 4 years or so, and we wish him all the best. He leaves us with many happy memories - most famously the winning goal against league leaders Oxford Hawks last year when we played with only 9 men. Famous for turning up late and smoking a lot, perhaps he more than anyone encapsulates the spirit of the 3s - he puts his all in on the pitch - at least for ten minutes before his complete lack of fitness kicks in. And this year barring miracles he will be top scorer for the 3s with 9 goals.

21 March, V Rover Oxford, 4-1 loss

Tring played top of the table Rover Oxford. Earlier in the season we had lost 8-0 thanks to a collective off day or possibly they were just better than us (unlikely but you never know). This time round we gave a better account of ourselves but still came away with a 4-1 defeat. The first half saw Tring try to take the game to Oxford, and with a fair amount of the possession Tring at times had the opposition worried. Sadly the main difference was the quality in front of goal. RO had clearly been to Swiss finishing school , whilst Tring's attempts had more of a local comprehensive feel about them. At the end of the first half Tring were 2-0 down through a short corner and a well taken shot from the top of the D. Tring had a glorious chance to make it 2-1 but Sam Highfields effort was well stopped by the RO goalie.
The second half saw more of the same, Tring had chances but couldn't take them. Oxford scored through another short and a well taken one on one. Finally Tring got the ball in the net, fittingly Dan Thompson who had toiled throughout the game, getting his reward with a well struck shot to the adulation of his team mates. He was quick to point out it was a team game of course, being the gentleman he is.


We even got our pic in the paper!

14 March, V W Hampstead, 4-0 loss

Tring played West Hampstead who are second in the table. Tring were only one of two teams to have beaten West Hampstead all season, securing a 2-1 win at Halton back in November, but at their place we knew it was going to be a tough game. And so it proved. West Hampstead gave Tring a lesson in possession hockey, moving the ball from side to side, and at times leaving Tring chasing shadows. With Gary Arthurs missing through injury, Captain Holman took it on himself to make the occasional whinge to the referee, mostly for failing to apply any advantage and for various other inconsistencies but there was no complaint about the result.
West Hampstead's first goal came with just ten minutes gone from a well worked move down their left hand side. Tring held out for the rest of the first half and as it wore on we even started to play a bit of hockey. Michael Turnbull and Richard Beeney were the latest recruits from the development production line and they were acquitting themselves well and they combined well to provide a half chance for Arik. Sam Highfield was also putting his all into closing down the West Hampstead team. Tring won a couple of short corners but nothing came from them.
The second half took on a similar vein, West Hampstead moving the ball well and Tring doing their best to close them down. As the game wore on Tring started to tire and mistakes crept in. West Hampstead's second goal was as good as any we've conceded this season (and there have been a reasonable amount). Their 3rd killed off any hope we had and was a relatively simple straight strike into the vacant right hand post slot from a short corner (where was the defender?). They added a possibly undeserved 4th late in the game. Tring did have the ball in the goal towards the end of the game for what would have been a consolation effort, but as ever the whistle had gone for a prior offence with no chance to see if there was any advantage. Final score 4-0.

Humbled & Humped by West Hampstead

7 March, V Eastcote, 3-1 win,

This was a game that had to be viewed as a relegation 6-pointer, Tring starting the day in 9th were playing 10th placed Eastcote who were 4 points below them at the start of the day. Tring needed a win to keep them from being dragged into a 3 way scrap for the second relegation spot (Abingdon having pretty much already booked their place in division 7). Earlier in the season the points had been shared in a 2-2 draw. The Eastcote team looked pretty different to the one we had played back in November and we hoped this wasn't a sign of 'ringers' being drafted in to halt Eastcote's alarming slide (every game lost since Christmas).

Tring started in a positive fashion, with quick passing and good movement, the formation was being held well and we were causing Eastcote problems. As the half wore on Tring continued to dominate, several chances were passed up including a great swing and miss by Luke Brown. Mid-way through the half Captain Holman had seen enough and striding purposefully to the top of the D he pounced on mistake by the Eastcote defence and slotted a first time strike to the keeper's right to take a 1-0 lead. Tring continued to take the game to Eastcote and this positivity paid off 5 minutes later as Tring converted a short corner through a relatively simple routine. Arik swept the ball out to Fergie, his strike was creeping wide but Arik had run to the post to glance the ball past the static defender. Tring went in two nil up at half time.

The second half saw Eastcote step up their game to try and gain a toehold in the match. Tring had shuffled the side at half time and for a while looked slightly disjointed. Eastcote grabbed a goal as their striker converted at the second attempt after a good initial save from Bess. Tring shuffled players again and managed to avert any nerves with a great third goal. Fergie played the ball out left to Luke Brown, he passed back in to the middle to Arik leaving him one on one with the keeper who had come quickly off his line, Arik kept his cool to lift it over him and into the back of the net for his second goal. The rest of the game saw Tring's defence in the ascendancy and the final score remained 3-1. Tring stayed in 9th but in this ever tight division are now only 3 points off 4th place.

28 Feb, defeat against Bracknell 4-0

Tring traveled to 3rd placed Bracknell with only the knowledge that Bess was making his own way there to worry them. Skipper Holman was preparing his plans for starting with no goalie. Arriving in good time Tring were pleasantly surprised to see the errant GK arrive well before the match started.
Bracknell had kindly supplied both umpires, admittedly with the slightly ominous warning that they 'weren't of the highest quality' and so it proved to be. Thankfully the players had been warned to be on their best behaviour, and with even Gary Arthurs a shining beacon of verbal rectitude what ensued was a slightly strange and undoubtedly polite game. Following every missed foot and dodgy stick tackle players were virtually falling over themselves to own up, Fergie and Chris Hartley almost coming to blows over who had chopped the attackers stick the hardest. Anyway to the report:
Tring started well and it looked to be a fairly even contest. The passing seemed reasonable and with Rob and Arik swapping regularly up front they were harassing the Bracknell defenders into hurrying their passing. Sadly the luck wasn't with Tring, After 15 minutes Bess was beaten at his near post and shortly before half time Bracknell's skillful centre-forward beat three players before planting a firm shot past Bess. Tring created several chances of their own but as is the habit this season failed to convert any of them. 2-0 at half time.
Tring started the second half well, gaining several short corners and near misses, the Bracknell goal seemed to be leading a charmed life. As Tring pressed Bracknell hit us on the counter-attack and scored a third. Bother. Tring didn't give up until the fourth goal went in, but hey what's a few more minuses in the goal column between friends?
I'd like to say well done the back line who apart from old man Chris Hartley were all 16ish and coped admirably with the more experienced Bracknell team.
Finally, Gary Arthurs would like me to say that despite me giving him a hard time in my match reports for his abuse of umpires he has only received one card all season and that was green, but then as he also pointed out most umpires are blind and can't tell which player is giving them grief.

The power and the fury...Mr Innocent.

Abingdon

21 February : V Abingdon 5-0 Walkover


Hooray…a win! Sadly Abingdon could not raise a side, thus forfeiting…however 3 points were a welcome compromise.

1-1 draw vs. Wallingford 14th Feb

Tring 3rds set off on the long trip to Wallingford knowing a tough game was in store. Wallingford lay 4th in the table and Tring had several players missing. Several members of the 4th team were called up to attempt to fill the boots of players of the calibre of David ‘The One-armed Bandit’ Bonner, Dan ‘Air-Shot’ Thompson and Fraser ‘Killer’ Cunningham who were all off pursuing romantic interests (possibly together).

Tring started well, forcing back their more experienced opponents, several short corners were won in quick succession, Fergie got a shot away for the third corner which deflected off the defenders stick, looping up to young Will Holderness, his deft control and snap shot opened the scoring for Tring within the first 3 minutes of the game. Buoyed by their great start Tring pressed forward and looked likely to add a second goal, another short corner nearly gave Will his second goal, but his watching fan club (mum, Granny and Granddad) were left distraught as he couldn’t quite poke in a short corner from close range. The first half ended with Tring on top but without having added to their tally.

The second half was more even, good work down both flanks from the combined forces of Sam Highfield, Jack Doodness and Luke Brown looked set to bring reward, but Wallingford were also beginning to gain a foothold. Excellent running out from George Cooper meant that Wallingfords short corners were being stopped before they began. Tring then decided to implode. Gary Arthurs got a talking to from the umpire (no prizes for guessing what for) swiftly followed by Dave Ferguson getting a green for the same offence. Not wanting to be left out Nick Wallinger decided to follow suit, earning him a yellow for suggesting the umpire indulged in certain acts of self-abuse (Nick has asked me to say that the umpire’s decision was wrong which led to the short corner and subsequent expletive). Down to ten and in some disarray at the short corner Wallingford duly equalised with another slow bobbling shot of the type which seems to confuse Bess!

A slight re-organisation saw captain Holman take Nicks place at right back, from this position he launched a counter-attack, moving to the half-way line he released Sam Highfield, he in turn moved the ball to Gary Arthurs who managed to find the keeper in the way of his otherwise goal-bound shot. The final result was 1-1, and a mostly good performance from the team.

One armed banditry!

Just to prove we have Ricki Martin in the Legends, livin la vida loca down the right wing, using just one arm with a girl with one leg...I give you David Bonner!

Witney 3, Tring 0

It was a brave band of Legends that met to face the cold last Saturday and endure the long journey to the remotest club in the MBBO at farflung Witney. After an inauspicious start driving in circles round Aylesbury, we finally spotted Arik amongst the hoodies and with a full contingent, we were on our way. The Legends started promisingly against Witney but fell behind to a speculative shot from the Witney left wing in the first ten. There then followed several short corners that Tring just could not capitalise on, despite bludgeoning strikes from Fraser. Worse was to follow as Chris 'big foot' Hartley stopped the ball on the line with his swollen trotter (having absorbed a strike moments before) and despite Bess's heroics, the ensuing P flick crept under him. Tring pursued the game and weren't without chances before conceding another goal, including an open net that was missed by the one armed bandit and rookie striker Dan who failed to go around the keeper when one on one. There were a further succession of short corners to Tring, several stopped by Bens foot, before the Legends finally gave up the dream and went home, possibly losing (once more) to the better side on the day.

The derby...2-1 loss

This was a game where Tring blew hot and cold...for brief moments, threatening to add yet another win against local rivals Aylesbury, for large parts of the game, however, out of sorts. Aylesbury on balance probably deserve the bragging rights for their win, though Tring might have got at least a point on another day. With messrs Wallinger and Holman absent, the new faces of Rob Lloyd and the returning Tom Brooks and Chris Hartley created a different look, along with Dans cameo at right back whilst even Gary A stepped up to tuck in a goal! The Aylesbury forwards were in ascendancy for large periods of the game, being sharper and faster to the loose ball and if it were not for the efforts of Geoff and Chris at the back, there may even have been a bigger deficit. As it was, despite several clear cut chances, Tring were unable to get the odd goal, registering their first defeat of 2009. This means Tring are now 8th, only 2 points from third from bottom Windsor, but also within 3 points of going 5th! click here for the league table.

Once more unto the breach...

Alongside his shiny new boots, it appears that skipper Holman has got another of his Christmas wishes, that of someone being able to score a goal from a short corner. Like waiting for a bus, three come along at once, at least it should have been, but when a Scotsman is on the brink of having to dip into his sporran to buy a hattrick jug, the ball suddenly starts missing again...anyway, celtic conspiracy theories aside, following Trings 2-2 draw with Wycombe, the gratitude of the team for two masterful set piece strikes lay with Fergie. There were in fact several short corner attempts; having initially deflected the first off Garys head and over the bar, the radar was back on track for the second with a low drive that beat the keeper, followed by a sumptuous lift for the second. Sheikh Mansour take note, he's not for sale (yet).

All told, it was a fair result between the teams. Next week is the big one...the derby V Aylesbury.